UNCOMMON PRAYERS FOR COUPLES

Daniel R. Seagren

These prayers were published in 1980 by Baker Book House. Since the book is out of print, I am including a few excerpts of these prayers with the hope that they could be meaningful to you (and those around you). Let me paraphrase from the Preface:

These prayers are hardly uncommon. What makes them uncommon is that many if not most prayers are never put into words. A sigh, a tear, a sob or a shout often do as well as words. Even so, there comes a time when prayers must be put into words. These prayers may turn the searchlight on your soul. If so, let the warmth and light heal your hurts, illuminate your pathway and bring hope when reconciliation seems impossible or unlikely.

Additional prayers will be posted from time to time replacing or supplementing these. The first prayers are in the category Courtship. I am sorry this book is out of print and no longer available. Enjoy. Share these with friends and neighbors.

The Long Road Ahead

Lord, when I was much younger we sang a song in Sunday School which went like this:
The road may be long but my savior is strong . . . Remember?
You probably remember how we changed the words:
The road may be rough but my Savior is tough . . .

Maybe this isn’t such bad theology.

When I think of marriage I think of it as a journey to some far away place . . .
I think of it as a leap into the unknown . . .
I think of it as an exotic adventure . . .
I’m excited, Lord.

I wait breathlessly for the phone to ring.
I wait anxiously for the smile on his face.
I fuss endlessly to make sure I’m fit to be seen.
Then I take my eyes off him and as I look around I am afraid . . .
Am I worthy?
Does he love me?
Can our love endure?

Then I scolded myself for taking my eyes off You.
Lord, go with us each step of the way.
We need Someone who is both strong and tough!

I Thought He'd Never Ask

Lord, I thought he’d never ask.
I did everything reasonable except ask him myself.
Tonight I heard those wonderful words:
"Will you marry me?"
Will you marry me. Four words—fourteen letters!!!
They will change my life completely, irrevocably, eternally.

For thirty-eight months I’ve waited dreamed schemed prayed
and now that he’s mine I couldn’t even answer him.
A million times, Lord, I had rehearsed this moment
but what did I do? I wept like a baby I shook like a leaf.

I’m so embarrassed I could die
but never have I wanted to live more than just now.

Thanks, Lord, for waiting with me.

Engaged or Disengaged?

Is it really true, Lord, that long engagements are as bad as short ones?
We’re engaged.
We want to get married.
I want to get married NOW!
He wants to wait a year.
He wants to finish school but I am sick of my job.

He wants us to save a little money but I could live on love.
He wants to please his parents (and mine) but who cares what they think?

We’re not engaged, Lord.
We’re disengaged. I’m taken out of circulation while he solves silly equations.
How can I know what he’s doing until midnight?
I could spy on him but I won’t.

Um, ah, could it be, Lord, that our engagement
is a cooling-off period rather than a warm-up?
Before he asked me things were getting pretty hot.
We could have been burned pretty easily now that I look back on it.

Lord, I can wait.
I think I can manage it.
But I don’t want to be engaged (or disengaged) too long.
Maybe a year is about right.

Trapped

Good Lord, what have we done?
She’s sweet and pretty as a rosebud but innocent she’s not.
We played it cool for quite awhile until we began to tire of one another.

I should have known better, Lord.
I know it is dangerous to play with fire but I though I could handle it.
Every night the guys would taunt.
Every night she would tease.
Every night I vowed to make it the last but I never did.

Then it happened. It just happened. That’s all.
Unplanned
Unprepared
Unrehearsed
Unfulfilling.

I don’t hate her, Lord but I don’t love her, either.
In fact, I'm not sure I even like her.
But now I’m obligated.

Ultimatums are awful foundations on which to build a marriage, aren’t they?

Get Me To The Church On Time

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve dreamed of a church wedding.
Now, Lord, I’m not so sure.
In fact, I’m confused.
He doesn’t want to get married at all!

If we do marry, he says he can’t handle a church affair:
"Too much politicking among relatives."
"That gift business is a racket."
"Everyone has their palms out:
organist
preacher
custodian
florist . . ."

And, in a way, he’s right.

It seems such an unnecessary expense
when ninety seconds in a courthouse will do just as well.

Or will it?

Marriage is sacred, isn’t it?
It’s almost a sacrament, isn’t it?
You actually solemnize the vows, don’t You?
"Whom God has joined together let no man put asunder."
Those are your thoughts I'm sure.

Lord, what a way to begin life together.
Maybe we need more time . . .
Maybe we’re not meant for each other.

With Your help I’ll do it!
I’ll get to the church on time but I won’t show up at the courthouse.
I might lose him, Lord, but I can’t afford to lose You.

Excerpted from Part I  Courtship Coming: Part II Marriage

Nuptial Neurosis (Hers)

In a few minutes, Lord,
I'll walk down the aisle
to say "I do" in a voice
choked with emotion.

I want to run away, Lord!
No, I'm not terribly nervous--
I'm afraid.

He looks so tall standing there--
and strong
and handsome
but I suppose all grooms are like that.
What if I can't love him?
What if I can't give him a child?
What if I can't make him happy?

Will he still love me?
Will he be patient and kind?
Will he want to make me happy?
Why didn't I think about this before I got this far?

My father's arm is reassuring
and his handkerchief has dried my tears
but they'll come again
and he'll be gone.

Help me, Lord.
I'm worried about tripping on my gown
but that isn't my real concern
although I wish it were . . .

Oh, that's the Bridal Suite.
It's too late now, Lord.
Please, take my other arm
and promise You'll never let go.
Promise?

Nuptial Neurosis (His)

I can see her, Lord,
waiting on her father's arm.
She looks beautiful,
more beautiful than I imagined.
Or am I dreaming?

My knees are shaking
My mouth is dry
My eyes are moist.
This isn't like me, Lord.
If anything, I've been too casual
perhaps even arrogant
about my role as husband.

Why should I worry now?
It's a little too late, isn't it?

Father in heaven,
I'll be good to her!
I'll be the man You expect me to be.
I'll live up to the vows
we'll soon be making
but it's going to take Your help.

It won't be natural to share my time
and worldly goods with someone else.
I've been so independent
I've been so complacent
I've been so noncommittal
about my relationship to You
that I am not sure I can be
a very good husband.

Wake me up
before the ceremony is over!
Please?

More excerpts to come.

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