Senior Moments These columns reflect many phases of that proverbial "senior moment" of which we are most familiar. At times these may stretch your imagination yet hopefully will help you ease through your senior years (and assist those who put up with us who will some day be there themselves). Enjoy. Dan Seagren
Previous Senior Moments Index Senior Moments
The Power of One Bumps and Breaks Memory Woes Hidden Fees Labor Day Fan Fiction Semantics Billy O'Reilly? CARD Sneaky Philanthropy Heaven Thanksgiving Bonding Black Friday
The Power of One With the Middle East in an uproar, we are reminded that we dare not underestimate the power of single individuals, good and evil. Most of these young nations have exploited their people, ferociously while their dictator amassed a fortune at their expense.The power of one is not anything new. It is as old as the hills. We can go way back in history and see what single individuals have accomplished. Beginning with Eve who enticed Adam after being duped by an outsider, history goes on with the heroics and exploits of singles like Noah, Nimrod, David, Moses, and of course, Jesus and Judas Iscariot.
Unconvinced? Look at Plato, Aristotle, Alexander the Great, Martin Luther, Adolph Hitler Mussolini and Stalin. Then there was Martin Luther King. And before them, a ten year old, born in the 1800s named George McNeill. At ten years old he worked at the Woolen Company in Amesbury in 1847 from 5:00 in the morning until 7:00 in the evening with a 30 minute break for breakfast, 15 minutes for lunch and 35 for dinner.
Alas, in 1852, John Derby became the new manager and thought this was ¡§excessively generous¡¨ and eliminated the morning and afternoon breaks. One hundred workers defied orders and were fired. By now George McNeill was 14 and immediately organized the children employed by the mill which began decades of advocacy for many causes including the Massachusetts Bureau of Labor Statistics and later he was active in education and the labor union movement.
Our news often covers children who single handedly originate humanitarian movements as well as adult entrepreneurs who do the same. True, single individuals are as adept in promoting mischief as well as benevolence. And at times, some have a capacity to do good and evil simultaneously. Again, we must never underestimate the power of the individual, whether a reactionary to tyranny or endowed with a powerful sense of righteous indignation or a passion for the underdog.
At times I cannot shrug the lyrics of that old Sunday School song we used to sing with gusto or reverence, or both: You in your small corner and I in mine. Never underestimate the power, for ill or for good, of the individual. Our start may be in a small corner but it could explode. How are things in your corner?
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Bumps and BreaksI was inspired by a Time article by Annie Murphy Paul entitled ¡§Life After High School.¡¨ She and others have wondered how our high school days affected our future lives. This encouraged (or possibly forced) me to think back on my high school days.
When I was about twelve, I inherited a magazine route netting about fifteen cents on a good week. At fourteen I was old enough for a newspaper route in my neighborhood. Midway through high school a close friend was drafted and I took over his gardening job across the city working for a medical doctor.High school was a mile and one-half away which I traversed on foot or by bicycle, never by car or bus. I took the usual courses, played in the marching band and orchestra, took a couple elective vocational courses. In my junior year, a neighbor recruited me to work in his factory which manufactured saws (jig saw types) where I worked half days for the second semester of my junior year and the entire senior year. My extra curricular days or daze was over.
Therefore, my high school years were not typical as I missed much of the socialization which climaxes seemingly in those latter years. As I read Annie's article, I could identify with it (one example of a study dated back to within ten years of my graduation). The conclusion I reached was there is some correlation between high school days and life after. And there is some correlation between those extra curricular activities and the future. And hard work is more productive than IQ.
I was an average student, enjoyed a few friendships (not a recluse nor a jock or a nerd) and probably would have done it differently if . . . That is a big IF because it was impossible. However, as I look back on all these years since 1945, I guess I'd say that my life has been one of both bumps and breaks. Yes, I have had a few breaks and some bumps along the way. In retrospect, my life has been so unlike I might have imagined had that been possible.
Annie was asked to speak at the graduation ceremony of her school and wondered what she would say and why she was asked in the first place. We understand. Had it been me, I guess I would talk about bumps and breaks. Fair enough?
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Memory Woes Recently we discussed ¡§bumps¡¨ and ¡§breaks.¡¨ In short, life is full of bumps in our paths. Some are painful, others a nuisance but all play a role. We also get a few breaks now and then ranging from close calls to meaningful detours and unexpected opportunities.Years ago ¡§Senior Moments¡¨ was initiated by a friend who needed a column for a web page for seniors. The typical senior moment occurs when our memory system balks at inopportune times. Today we will embark on a journey of the brain.
A couple of years ago I had a conversation with my son about senior moments. Nothing terribly serious but at times either embarrassing or exasperating. At the time I was going through a struggle with ol' man Cancer and Scott rewarded me with a kit called ¡§Brain Boot Camp: Boost Your IQ and Sharpen Your Memory in Only 7 Days.¡¨
Only 7 days?!? Really? Not 70 days? Or 700? Well, I began, took the first few tests seriously and came to the conclusion that there was indeed room for improvement. But I set it aside and now picked it up again. Same thing. There is room for improvement. The preliminary tests revealed that the author, Tony Buzan, knew that; he said to keep a record because you will retake the test later in the course.
Since I haven't gotten that far, I cannot predict anything. But if and when I finish, I will report on what has happened. So, hang in there. Anyway, let me share the good news with you. If you suffer from senior moment, occasionally or regularly, Tony says there is hope. Here is what he says: ¡§It's a complete misconception that your brain automatically deteriorates with age, and there is science to prove it.¡¨
See, I told you so. There's more: ¡§. . . you need to look after your brain, like any other part of your body . . . keep your brain agile and it will keep performing as well as you want it to . . . You will, in effect, be able to age-proof it indefinitely.¡¨
Well. What do you know. Seven lessons, seven days followed by once a day for seven weeks. As mentioned, stay tuned. Maybe there is help after all for those pesky senior moments and other unpredictable occurrences.
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Hidden Fees Not all fees are hidden, thankfully. On the other hand, maybe it is better in some cases to be ignorant. However, there are a lot of hidden fees. It is not our intention to defend or debunk these fees. Nor can we avoid them and we often wouldn't dare think of not paying for them.To illustrate, my wife and I are privileged to have a son and daughter in the travel business which is notorious in some ways for hidden fees. Here is an example of what recently crosses my desk but did not come from either one of our children.
Unless otherwise indicated, companies listing fares on Xxxxxxxxx may not include all applicable taxes, charges and government imposed fees. The following overview has been prepared to give you an idea of what additional fees and taxes may apply.
Passenger Facility Charges: Passenger Facility Charges (PFCs) of up to $18.00 USD may apply depending upon the itinerary chosen.
Federal Excise Tax/Segment Fee: A federal excise tax or segment fee of up to $3.70 USD does apply per flight segment, if this tax is not included already in the advertised fare. A flight segment is defined as one takeoff and one landing.
September 11th Security Fee: A September 11th Security Fee of $2.50 USD applies per flight segment. A flight segment is defined as one takeoff and one landing.
U.S. or International Departure and Arrival Charges: U.S. or international government imposed taxes and fee of up to $200.00 USD may apply depending upon the itinerary chosen.
Shipping & Handling Fees: Some travel companies or their agents may impose shipping and/or handling fees if you request paper tickets or for certain types of transactions.
Service Fee: Companies listing offers on Xxxxxxxxx may charge a service fee.
Itinerary Changes/Cancellations/Refunds: Itinerary changes, if permitted for the fare, may have a change fee of up to $150.00 USD that will vary by market, carrier and specific fare rule.
You may notice that nothing above included fees for blankets, pretzels, baggage or use of the restrooms, non-alcoholic beverages, excessive girth (often uncharged) and others. A recent report showed how lucrative it was in 2010 for baggage charges. Of course, people will carry on baggage to avoid the fee which often clogs overhead bins making it tough on standbys and late comers.
This is not only a lament but a fact of life. Still, it may be cheaper to go from New York City to San Francisco by bicycle. Perhaps paying fees isn't all bad.
Go to Top One of the beauties of being a senior citizen is that there is still room for surprises. One came recently by the way of Time magazine. It started out rather innocuously about The Boy Who Lived Forever: Inside the alternate universe of fan fiction, where Harry Potter's story never ends . . .
Fan FictionLev Grossman then talked about the pros and cons of fan fiction: 'stories and novels (and poetry) that make use of characters and settings from other people's work.' Some authors encourage it; others do not. Understandably. Fan fiction affects contemporary as well as ancient writing where fan fiction even emerges from characters and settings as far back as Plato and Moses.
A few pages later another piece caught my eye. Kid Lit Unbound: Who's to say which books are good for children? A decent enough question. Its converse would also be worth questioning: Who's to say which books are bad for children. Or seniors?
This article, written by Jeff Kinney, author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, braced for the inevitable backlash. Sure enough, a nationally televised news program ran a segment titled Wimpy Kid with a Foul Mouth. Kinney then went on to say that he didn't write the book for kids but aimed for an audience of adults feeling nostalgic for their middle school days.
When he pitched his book to a publisher, he was politely informed that he had, in fact, written a book for kids. He decided to let the kids figure it out which they did. So now even I know a little more about the Wimpy Kid that I read to my grandson. If not mistaken, I think we both caught on.
Kids and adults do have differing concepts of what should and should not be read, and no doubt both have erred in the process. That Harry Potter will go down in history, either by name or a pseudonym, should be no surprise. Just where copyrights, plagiarism and patents enter the inkwells of life remain a question.
Ah yes. Do I worry about any fan fiction from Senior Moments? Hardly. But would I feel badly if someone younger than a senior read these lines, or even a grandchild or collegian? They just might discover something worth discovering.
Go to Top Out of curiosity, I dug deeply to see how many ¡§Senior Moments¡¨ I had written since 2005. I found 301. Here's a sample of what I wrote in '05:
SemanticsSome people hate that expression [seniors] for persons over fifty, sixty, seventy or eighty. Some don¡¦t consider a person a senior until fourscore years have been reached but then, octogenarians, able bodied with minds working overtime, will squirm when referred to as seniors. So, what other expressions are better? Golden Agers? Or perhaps Silver Streakers? Prime Timers? Old Timers? Hill Toppers? Senior Citizens? Mature Adults? Elders? Superiors? Dignitaries? Old Coots?
I guess we seniors still haven't come up with a newer, better or catchier title for our generation. If you want a challenge, take a tablet, a pencil (with an eraser), and do some scribbling of possible creative synonyms for 'seniors.'
We struggle as seniors with various difficulties facing our society, maybe not so much for ourselves as for posterity (our kids and grandkids). We also sputter having paid into our retirement over many years only to hear that it is an entitlement which has been ¡§borrowed¡¨ with merely a shadowy IOU.
Yesterday we invested but it was quite unlike today as fewer workers are paying for a greater number of retirees. Plus others. So, is there a problem? We seniors are living longer, putting up with chronic maladies, demanding more because we've already paid for it, contemplating ultra expensive although hopefully useful tests and medicines (done in part to ward off frivolous law suits). I overheard a physician grumble that twice he had to borrow to meet his payroll because of unpunctual payments from Medicare.
Antiquity Felons. How's that for a synonym for pesky seniors? Seems like we are multiplying too quickly which is evident in the disappearances of COLA and partisan debt retirement options lurking in some proposals. We hear soak the rich and rob the elderly all in one breath. And chants of down with antiquity and up with defamation along with play ball or blackball those tea parties.
Now as an octogenarian, I suppose we could welcome a preferable nickname (sobriquet, appellation or cognomen) which might enhance our clout. If we do, perhaps some bureaucratic opportunists may think twice before maligning old coots who, believe it or not, are not as expendable as some might imagine. Too bad we can't do more for posterity, young folks. Guess maybe it is up to you.
Go to Top Today when I hear someone call me Danny, its usually an old timer. Bill O'Reilly penned A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity in 2008. Its title is rather pointless until you know its origen.
Billy O'Reilly?A word about the title. At the ripe old age of eight, Bill O'Reilly had negatively impressed Sister Lurana, his teacher at St. Bridgid's School in Westbury, New York. One day she called him A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity. He has never forgotten. His book is an attempt to reveal how he became what he is.
O'Reilly has held numerous positions in the media, has written 9 books selling in the millions, is married with two children. To learn more, check Wikipedia on the web or other sources. One thing we have in common is that he was called Billy by some of his classmates at their 25th reunion. Was he annoyed then? Not a bit.
I do suggest that you take a look at it, or perhaps even dig into it whether you are one of his avowed adversaries or a devoted fan (and he has many of both). If you want to see both friend and foe, ¡§Google¡¨ him. When I did, after 80 pages I got this message: In order to show you the most relevant results, we have omitted some entries very similar to the 794 already displayed . . .
He grew up in a most humble environment maturing in the volatile '60s and '70s. His modest upbringing as a Catholic unquestionably shaped his morality as his personality and character evolved during those decades as significant changes to our traditional American culture occurred.
Bill O'Reilly attempts to explain in his story why he acts and thinks as he does which is a most difficult task but he minces no words as he does so. It is a sobering, insightful book for both friend and foe to examine.
Am I sorry I read the book? No. Seniors (and others) could relive that volatile era from the 1960's onward to better understand how the past five decades has impacted all of us. That alone is worthy of your consideration.
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Labor Day The word ¡§labor¡¨ can evoke a variety of responses. It suggests work ranging from menial tasks to essential jobs. It also describes the agony of childbirth. It also denotes the worker's delight: a three-day weekend.I grew up in a large city two blocks from the countryside. When I was seven, my Aunt Edna took my sister and me to the ol' homestead in Minnesota while our father traveled to Pennsylvania to get married, four years after the death of our mother. This launched annual trips from Michigan to the farm for me for several years where gradually I learned how to work. I was taught to milk cows by hand (my share was usually five), haul hay, feed the pigs and chickens, fix fences and cultivate corn. I gradually learned what labor meant.
Labor Day, the first Monday of September, originated in New York City. It was first celebrated on Tuesday, September 4, 1882 in accordance with the Central Labor Union; on Wednesday in 1883. It was selected as a Monday celebration in 1884 and by 1885 it was celebrated in many industrial centers of the country. In 1894, President Grover Cleveland, a foe of organized labor, was politically pressured into signing a Labor Day Law designating it officially as the first Monday in September. Gradually it was recognized throughout the country.
May Day, the International Workers' Day, celebrated in some 80 countries on May 1, no doubt had some influence on the choice of September in the United States. Since the Socialist Party had designated May 1 as the International Day of the Worker, and because there was resistance to the labor movement allegedly exploiting workers, September probably was chosen to separate the two celebrations.
Today, Labor Day usually signals the end of summer, the beginning of autumn and back to school throughout the land (plus Pro and public football). Now and then there may be events held by labor organizations and appearances by political candidates (usually affecting labor). However, it is more likely to be a time for families with children heading off to school, celebrations including picnics, barbecues, parades, fireworks and art shows. And it marked the end for fashionable women wearing white.
Finally, but virtually forgotten, the American Federation of Labor adopted in 1909 the Sunday preceding Labor Day as Labor Sunday ¡§dedicated to the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement.¡¨ It's future? Who knows?
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CARD Yours truly finished high school in 1945, right on schedule. As a 17 year old, many of us were not thinking or dreaming college. The war was raging and we knew that when we hit 18 Uncle Sam would tap us on the shoulder. And he did. My stint in the Navy awakened a dormant dimension and I was off to school for seven straight years (college and seminary). Unimaginable seven years earlier, and accomplished debt free.My father during that period of time managed on a modest salary by saving religiously 10% and tithing another 10%. I learned early in life to manage on a nickel a week allowance and at twelve I forfeited my allowance as I was able to earn fifteen cents weekly, if lucky, delivering magazines. My mother was an RN but was a stay at home mom until cancer ravished her body. My step mother, also an RN, was a homemaker as she inherited two little ones and added three more to our family.
Consequently, when I read The Student Financial Crisis in Time magazine (9/6/2011), I learned about CORD (Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility and Disclosure). Jean Chatzky was blunt saying ¡§Our college kids can be dunces about money . . . about budgeting, credit cards, and splurging on Starbucks.¡¨
Since schools and credit card issuers are not much help, there is only one solution to the problem. She proposed that it is up to the parents with four points to ponder: Wants and needs are different things; These are your means [students] and they are limited; Put some skin in the game [to respect money have your kids earn it]; Be cautious with credit cards.
Sound advice to be sure. Chatzky pointed out that the average 2011 grad had a $4,138 credit card debt plus $22,900 in student loans and predicted that the 2015 grads will exceed that. Someone has said that in many high school parking lots you can easily tell the student lots from that of the faculty which seemingly affirms her prediction.
There is also a rising number of students taking 5-6 years to finish a four-year curriculum. And there is the not so subtle behavior of students with affluence enjoying lavish amenities setting an aspiring but unreasonable goal for many. Chatzky is not far off in having students learn the importance of those four items above before they matriculate.
Otherwise, entry into the workaday world with a huge debt is not what most students envisioned. Debt is so easy to get into but often difficult, maybe impossible to eliminate except for a handful of enrollees who make big bucks sooner rather than later. 9/2011
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Sneaky Moments I must confess, I am not overly enthused about shopping, not for clothes, groceries, hunting for bargains or coupons. There are times when I go shopping and yes, I do enjoy browsing, particularly in book stores and our Emporium (a nearby delightful candy shop located in a converted gas station).
When my wife enters the house after grocery shopping, I often hear laments on how much prices have gone up and how containers look the same but hold lesser amounts. It also complicates getting the right measurement in recipes. She is not alone. Look at what others are saying.Consumers are beginning to encounter shrinking food packages where shoppers pay the same amount but get less. There's more. When Lisa cooked her usual three boxes of pasta, she was embarrassed because it wasn't enough as it used to be. Oh oh. Ms. Stauber bought 16-ounce cans of corn but they were 15.5, then 14.5 ounces and then for the first time she saw 11 ounce cans. Sneaky she said.
A marketing professor said that customers are generally more sensitive to changes in price than to changes in quantity but companies try to do it in such ways you don't notice, maybe keeping the height and width the same but change the depth so the silhouette of the package looks the same. Hmmm.
Another professor commented that businesses had little choice these days when faced with increased costs of their raw goods plus high unemployment and fewer wage increases.It seems that most companies reduce products quietly hoping customers are not reading labels too closely. And some companies keep hoping for better times so these alterations can be only temporary. Other companies make adjustments like wrapping the food better while including less arguing that freshness has been added. Sneaky?
Another professor said this downsizing began in the 1980s when a one-pound tin of coffee and a pound of nuts shrank to 13 ounces. Then a half-gallon of ice cream managed to shrink a bit. Same with a pint or quart of berries when their containers were replaced with similar but smaller products yet costing the same.
When the economy rebounds, will the continuous cycle of resizing disappear.? Maybe. That my friends is why I let my wife do the shopping. She's smarter and wiser.
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Philanthropy Long words can impress as well as depress. We dislike speakers who bore audiences with unusual, undecipherable, unpronounceable and showy words, sentences, paragraphs, and worst, entire speeches. On the other hand, we react to speakers (or the written word) that is overly simplified, vulgar, undignified and superfluous. Tough at times being a speaker or writer, isn't it?This word philanthropy is usually understood, to a degree, but it is still worth a look. Here is a typical definition: Philanthropy (noun) is the effort or inclination to increase the well-being of humankind, as by charitable aid or donations. Then, Philanthropy etymologically means "the love of humanity"¡Xlove in the sense of caring for, nourishing, developing, or enhancing; humanity in the sense of "what it is to be human," or "human potential.
So far so good. No arguments here. However, let's look at a couple of dimensions often overlooked. Philanthropy should and does benefit humans but it also benefits the animal kingdom and nature (flora refers to plant life and fauna refers to wild life). These too are worthy of philanthropic generosity, not merely because of their intrinsic value but because of their importance to humankind.
This was impressed upon me as I thumbed through Conde Nast Traveler's World Savers Awards article (September 2011) lauding those who benefit Education, Health, Poverty, Preservation, Wildlife and Doing it All. This can be done in so many ways, collectively as well as individually. And these benefactors do deserve recognition.
Another Conde Nast story When The Rich Go Wild was also revealing. It wrote about a handful of wealthy environmentalists who are snapping up the planet. Actually, what is happening, often behind the scenes, is astounding, worthy of print and acclamation. Literally, millions of acres of land in various part of the world are being bought up for preservation (saving the planet) rather than left for possible exploitation.
As I probed, I discovered that another individual was recognized. Only he wasn't a wealthy environmentalist. He had to borrow a modest sum to do his part in saving the planet. So, even a non-wealthy person can be a philanthropist, even a lowly senior as well as a prosperous one can help enhance humanity making our world a better place. Philanthropy is not only an occupation of the wealthy. Even the most underprivileged among us can and should help increase the well-being of humankind.That's good news, isn't it? Go to Top
Thanksgiving Ironically, the Christian church perhaps semi-officially recognizes two holidays in the Autumn: Halloween and Thanksgiving. As practiced, the two are quite different. Halloween was an attempt to ward of any deviltry prior to All Saints Day (remembered by some ecclesiastical bodies but not all). Our family had an awakening in both Sweden and Mexico when we lived there as All Saints Day was celebrated in very special waysOctober 31, 1927 is a date I don't remember as it was then I entered into this world. This often created a dilemma. How does a family celebrate both Halloween and a birthday? My memory is rather dim for those earliest years but I do remember some. As a parent whose little ones (and not so little at times) were excited to go ¡§trick or treating¡¨ returning with wide grins and a bag full of treats even when the weather was forbidding. Then a gorgeous birthday cake could easily be overshadowed.
Halloween has evolved over the years whereas I would suppose All Saints Day Celebrations have remained more or less intact: a time commemorating those who have gone on ahead, including saints, with creative attempts to adorn rather than desecrate cemeteries.
Thanksgiving Day takes on a different hue. Less colorful, perhaps and it too has evolved along with its culture. ¡§Over the hills and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go¡¨ is less likely nowadays. We might fly or hit the Interstate but not in a horse and buggy (although we may wish we could).
Congress wisely recommended one yearly day of thanksgiving for the whole nation to celebrate. George Washington suggested the date November 26 as Thanksgiving Day. Then in 1863, at the end of a long and bloody civil war, Abraham Lincoln asked all Americans to set aside the last Thursday in November as a day of thanksgiving. In 1941, it was reset as the last Thursday again after President Franklin D. Roosevelt made it one week earlier to lengthen the shopping period before Christmas.
Therefore, it is a national holiday, set in late November not so much for commercial value or a four-day holiday but to give thanks for their important Autumn harvest. And now we must add to express our gratitude for the founding of our America. It too has evolved somewhat but we still enjoy families getting together, sharing a nostalgic turkey dinner topped off by pumpkin pie (or some other favorite).
What may be missing may be our heart-felt gratitude for our Founding Fathers, a workable, enduring Constitution, for those who truly represent our best interests in our governing bodies, and for the freedom to say a blessing before we partake in that meaningful meal-of-the-year. Long live both AllSaints Day and Thanksgiving Day.
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Heaven Heaven I suppose is either real or imaginary, fact or fiction. Further, many believe everyone will go there while others say there must be two destinations, not just one.Todd Burpo tells the story of his son Colton who was rushed into emergency surgery when he was four years old due to a burst appendix. Over the next months and years, Colton told his parents he had gone to heaven while he was unconscious.
When talked into writing the story some years later, Todd struggled for a title. When Colton was asked he did not hesitate and Heaven Is For Real became a best-seller. As I read the story, I identified easily with it because as a clergyman I have been interested in near-death experiences and the incredible occurrences that have been recorded. This one struck me forcibly in several ways. Let me share a couple of them with you.
Colton, only four, even though born and raised in a Christian setting, was too young to have either heard about or experienced previously what he had experienced. For instance, he was met in heaven by a little girl who said she was his younger sister. He promptly said he didn't have a younger sister. Later on, he learned that his mother did have a miscarriage but had never told her son, nor did she have any idea what sex it could have been. A sober thought. What does happen to miscarriages and abortions?
He also said he met his great-grandfather. When his parents showed him his picture, he said that wasn't him because who he saw was a younger man. The family searched and found a picture of him when he was young. When Colton saw it, he said that was who he saw. Could that be: elderly men no longer elderly up there?
When Colton was asked what Jesus looked like, it was difficult. The family showed him several portrayals of Jesus but he said none of them looked like Jesus. They found the Akiane Kramarik picture of Jesus as she envisioned Him in a dream when she too was four years old. When Colton saw it he said that is just what Jesus looked like. Coincidence? She created the picture when she was about eight years old and has won over her atheist mother while becoming a famous artist and poet (born in 1994).
Akiane painted the Prince of Peace, her first portrait of Jesus as she remembered Him.Whether or not you are a skeptic or a believer, could it be that we are nudged a little bit by thinking more seriously about life hereafter? What is the destiny, if any, of miscarried embryos or aborted fetuses? What will our age be in heaven? Same as when we arrive, younger, older? Would we flinch when a four-year-old talking to Jesus refers to God as ¡§your Dad?¡¨
Todd Burpo's Heaven Is For Real. And why not type Akiane Kramarik into your computer search engine? Both are worth a look. Are there critics? Indeed. Some critics are crying it's Hogwash. . . This is a sweet story, but it is fiction . . . Not believable. . . . But should they probe deeper? I think so.
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Bonding My computer thesaurus gives three definitions for bonding: fastening or person attachment (and soldering), personal relationship and technique. We'll skip soldering and merge the three: Bonding involves a technique for a personal relationship which results in an attachment.Recently my wife and I visited our son and his wife 1,100 miles away so we don't see them every day. Recently they brought home a Maltese puppy which of course we had to get acquainted with. Here's a description I found: ¡§The Maltese is spirited, lively and playful. Gentle, loving, trusting and devoted to its master. Highly intelligent. Good at learning tricks. Bold and quick to sound the alarm in case of suspicious noises. It is a classical companion dog; graceful and lovable. They do well with other non-canine animals and other dogs. Maltese love to play outdoors. Some like to jump in puddles.¡¨
Not too bad. After spending about a week together, we got to know each other. We even watched her play in an unusual dog park in a nearby community. She was quick, and would run, run, run, checking out every dog in the part (it had two sections for those under and over 30 pounds). When confronting a larger animal (Bella weighed about 6 pounds), she would sniff, and then lie down and play dead.
After we left for home, our son reported that she was rather listless, waiting at the foot of the stairway leading to our bedroom. Naturally, they assumed she was looking for those strangers who invaded her domain but of course they couldn't read her mind. Needless to say, she wasted no time for a seven-month old puppy, looking for attention. And she got it from both of us in addition to what she was used to.
Spoiled? I don't think so. But we bonded with her rather readily which was good for all of us. Bonding, unfortunately, does not always occur. It takes two, not one, to make it happen. Had she ignored us, we would have felt badly but would not have forced the issue. Had we ignored her, bonding would not have happened. For us, it was a worthwhile experience.
When an individual or a culture loses its capacity to bond with others, a vacuum occurs which too often is filled with something unlike a ¡§personal relationship resulting in an attachment.¡¨ We witness this in parent-child relationships, teacher-student scenarios, pastor-parishioner settings and coach-player scenes plus a zillion other potentials for essential bondings.
Individualism and laissez faire attitudes do not lend themselves usually to the delightful and wholesome bonding which is so much better than isolationism. Bella, only seven months old, was a delightful reminder of how important bonding is as well as how easy and pleasant it can be achieved.
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Black Friday Black Friday will be soon over. The day after Thanksgiving is but a memory and for some not as pleasant as hoped. Merchants eager to get a running start on holiday shopping were not always received as cordially as they had hoped. Opening stores at midnight or in the wee hours of the morning did not always go over as well as anticipated. Camping out all night in chilly climates was not always the most pleasant way to get first in line.Christmas, once upon a time, was a little less opportunistic. Many, many years ago, we seniors remember the holiday as children. No school, crowded stores to be sure, Santa Clauses everywhere which eventually made us question how could there be more than one? I vividly remember when our daughter, a mere eleven months old, had more fun with the boxes and wrappings than her gifts. The crunch of the paper had a most joyous sound to her little ears.
I also remember looking for a gift for my father when I was probably seven or eight years old. I had fifteen cents to spend and looked and looked for just that right present. I finally settled for a pair of socks. Imagine. I have no idea how dad responded but as I look back, I imagine he at least acted pleased, knowing him as well as I did.
Holidays have a long, long tradition. Ancient civilizations had their festivals, feasts and special events which often outlasted even their existence. Life without holidays, feasts, traditions would be rather dull. What seems even more devastating, both to youngsters and oldsters, would be the discontinuation of traditions, holidays and yes, feasts.
How well I remember feast days as a child when mom used the best china, cloth napkins and went all out to make the occasion festive. What would our society be like if we didn't celebrate New Year's Day, the fourth of July, Memorial Day and Labor Day, and of course, Christmas. Personally, I miss celebrating both Lincoln and Washington's birthdays but will settle for President's Day.
Ironically, Christmas has become a holiday for everyone, religious or otherwise even though Rudolph and ¡§All I want for Christmas is . . .¡¨ and St. Nick may overshadow the Baby Jesus at times. Most everyone, almost, I suppose would probably not want to change the wording to ¡§I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas.¡¨ Let's keep it as festive as we can.
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